Nintendo Talk Penis Detection On Miiverse (Parody)

Nintendo president Satoru Iwata and his team have spoken about penis detection in the highly moderated Miiverse. Wii U Miiverse social network director Yoshiomi Kurisu has revealed that it was a complex issue that inevitably needed solving. Here’s how they went about it.

Iwata: I agree. The unique feature of the Miiverse is being able to send drawings, not just text. But since the advent of the internet, there have always been those who have used it for unsavory purposes.

Kurisu: Right, auto-detection of bad words is very simple.

Iwata: Yes, text messages may be easy to moderate; however, drawings are much more difficult.

Yuzawa: (laughs) I think I know where this is going.

Kurisu: Let us get this out of the way then. (laughs) We anticipated that some users would draw…

Kato: Can we even say the word?

Iwata: Go ahead. (laughs)

Kurisu: Ahem, uh. Some users would take to drawing penises.

Everyone: (laughs)

Kurisu: Well, it’s true. It seems to be more of a phenomenon found in the west.

Motoyama: Yes, we never had such a problem with our Hatena services. But, when we brought Hatena Flipnote to the West, we were caught off-guard by the amount of penises drawn by people.

Kurisu: So the team and I had to come up with a way to create a system that auto-detects those types of pictures.

Kato: Kurisu-san suggested we study different types of penises in order to create figure out the relative shape and size people would draw. We spent a week doing that before we realized that we should have been looking at drawings of penises rather than real-life pictures. (laughs) We were very embarrassed about that.

Kurisu: My judgement on these types of situations is poor. (laughs)

Motoyama: After a week, we made very good progress on the system. Then we tested the system with Nintendo of America and told them to start drawing. It went horribly.

Kurisu: What we learned is that people enjoy drawing penises. Multiple ones. (laughs) The system was not prepared to handle that.

Iwata: I do not think your team anticipated how difficult this would get!

Kurisu: No. (laughs)

Yuzawa: I was disheartened myself. We spent a few more weeks trying to get a system working.

Motoyama: Nintendo of America really took the system to its limits.

Yuzawa: You know what surprised me. No one drew a single vagina.

Everyone: (laughs)

Iwata: So, in the end, it all worked out?

Kurisu: Yes, we can safely say that we have a very good system to detect penis drawings. Hopefully player’s Miiverse experiences will be a fun one!

Thanks, Nintedward

Update: A large majority of you are reporting that this was actually a parody. Thanks for letting me know!

77 thoughts on “Nintendo Talk Penis Detection On Miiverse (Parody)”

      1. im drawing a vagina right now lmao lets see how long it takes for them to take it off. yes i know its fake but its still funny

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  1. Oh guys, I`m laughing out so loud now that all co-workers got here to ask what am I laughing at…This couldn`t be true but sure it is funny how They went to study photos of real penises…..ROFLMAO…..

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  2. ” Kurisu-san suggested we study different types of penises in order to create figure out the relative shape and size people would draw. We spent a week doing that before we realized that we should have been looking at drawings of penises rather than real-life pictures. (laughs) We were very embarrassed about that.”

    “You know what surprised me. No one drew a single vagina.”

    Laughing extremely loud! But this sounds fake…

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  3. Funny thing is, if this weren’t a parody, surely that system would prevent people from drawing the eternal shuffling chode that is the goomba.

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      1. Well that depends on who your friends are since only friends can send you notes. This is the same thing as Swapnote here in the states right?

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  4. True drawing penises is fun(I do it rearly,rearly,rearly) .I’m a guy,not gay,just something to laugh at.But really no one draws vagina’s,because no one likes to,cause it ain’t funny in the west!

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  5. looks like vaginas will be a new trend in internet art. Also, things that look like dicks but aren’t, and I guess dicks that look like things. …..

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  6. Sigh, America. You should be ashamed of yourselves. Parody or not, we all know this is a mega issue. Why do people draw that stuff?! Do we blame ‘SuperBad’ or culture?

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  7. Oh, God! What a laugh! I read this at lunchtime, and had a hard time keeping a straight face during General Statics and Dynamics class.

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  8. I truly believed this and thought it sounded logical and understandable, until I started reading everyone’s comments about it being fake.

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  9. You would think that there are more perverts in Japan (The country that made Kancho, and the dress flipping fan club) but no. It doesn’t seem so.

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  10. Well, whatever the case maybe, if I see a penis, or a dick, or a sausage on Miiverse, I report it and block the offender.
    Disgusting Americans. >:(

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