zelda_skyward_sword

Nintendo Documents Say Link Almost Killed Zelda

The Legend of Zelda series protagonist Link nearly killed Princess Zelda as a result of “poor lighting” and a massive spider. This tidbit was found in a Nintendo character reference guide, which also says that Link comes from a family of telepaths. It was recently uncovered via the official guide that Yoshi’s real name is T. Yoshisaur Munchakoopas.

Each Princess of the House of Hyrule was a heroine in her own right. At sixteen years of age, Zelda the First defied Agahnim when he usurped power from the King. legend has it that she survived a cruel imprisonment and was rescued by Link. The truth, however, is that she had been on the verge of escaping on her own when Link burst into the chamber and nearly slew her on the spot on account of the poor lighting and an enormous spider that had sat down beside her.

79 thoughts on “Nintendo Documents Say Link Almost Killed Zelda”

  1. How come no one posted all those new screenshots from Hyrule Warriors I sent in? Psh I guess you guys are tired of it. Lol

    And yeah i read that yesterday. I was question when was Link ever a telepath.

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    1. I want to In pregnant my mother and then perform an amateur abortion on her allowing me to eat the extracted fetus. I love it when they pop in your mouth like a cherry tomato followed by a corn but like crunch. Small little bones between your teeth..

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      1. Don’t forget they can also read people’s minds. A truly powerful telepath can even erase memories & take full control of weak minded people.

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  2. “Feed a Jew and well he’ll take your food. Teach a Jew how to fish and he’ll turn around and sell it for 5.99 lbs at New Jersey market”..

    -Stranga

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  3. How come the sage that helps you in a link to the past forget everything that happened in a link between worlds? The hero has the same name and outfit plus wields the master sword. I haven’t beat albw yet so idk if he mentions it at the end.

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  4. This is the Same fucking bullshit as Ganondorf “Dragmire”! This is just some american pr-people adding stuff on their own!

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    1. I don’t care for some of this bullshit “truth” done by Nintendo of America idiots from the early 90s, either, but Ganondorf Dragmire actually sounds almost believable.

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      1. According to Zelda wiki, and I am sure I have read it elsewhere “According to a legend passed down within Impa’s bloodline, well before the events of The Legend of Zelda, Hyrule was a prosperous land ruled by a king who had two children, an unnamed prince and Princess Zelda.”
        So, she couldn’t have been a descendant of Zelda, from The Legend of Zelda.

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            1. In a way, we should have expected that of him, he basically should be the mirror opposite of Link since he comes from a world of opposites

              Hilda, unlike Zelda, was careless and willing to work with the evil Yuga to restore Lorule but destroy Hyrule in the process

              Yuga seemed to be fascinated with aesthetics while Ganondorf wanted results

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      1. Link must be blind as heck. How does some poor lighting almost make you miss a giant spider? Was he fighting in the dark? Lmao!

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  5. Almost none of these old documents are canon anymore anyways. There are some many wrong facts in them, as the universe has expanded to directions they could never have imagined!

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    1. Or maybe it mistook her for a walking, juicy, delicious cheeseburger… Or better yet, steak. Zelda is a steak confirmed!

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  6. I don’t really like Zelda’s SS model… She looks like a teenage girl. >.< Twilight Princess will always have the best incarnations of Link and Zelda imo.

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    1. SS Zelda is the most beloved Zelda since she has a compassionate nature
      TP Zelda is one of the most hated because she is so distant and seems cold

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      1. I was talking about appearance. But anyways, I like that TP Zelda isn’t all playful and nice. I prefer her more sophisticated attitude.

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            1. She is kinda sophisticated and classy like TP Zelda but at the same time she shows feelings like SS Zelda

              Her design is kinda halfway between them

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              1. Oh. She she sounds good too I guess. But in terms of appearance, I pick TP. There’s just something about her that screams “royal”.

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                1. question are you a girl the way you talk you sound like a girl every time I see your comments the things that you say sounds like something a girl would say sorry for being rude just always wanted to ask you that lol

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                  1. Me? Haha I guess I do sometimes. But trust me. If you stuck around more often, you’d know that I am definitely a male. ;) Nintendo Commander especially knows this. XD

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            2. Hold on, wait. You have never played OoT?

              Remain calm

              Someone get me a 3DS, a copy of OoT 3D and a walkthrough of the Water Temple, stat.

              Help is on the way

              Liked by 2 people

              1. To this day I have never had problems with the water temple. The spirit temple is the only one I had any problems with.

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              2. xD Don’t bother. I think Hollow is waiting for Ocarina of Time HD & Majora’s Mask HD for Wii U before he plays them. A shame, really, since he’s going to have to wait 5-10 years for that.

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                1. Wrong. I’ll be getting Ocarina of Time 3D for my Nintendo 3DS XL. I am fine with the graphics and I like the 3D effect. I hope you don’t think I am a graphics whore just because I want HD. You grew up with older games so it’s much easier for you to tolerate no Hi Def. You have to understand how it is from my point of view.

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    2. *facepalm to both Hollow & Quadraxis* That’s because she IS a teenage girl. What part of “Skyward Sword is like a High School Drama” did some of you not get? lol

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      1. Well excuse me, princess. For your information, I have only played two Zelda games. Wind Waker and ALBW. Don’t be hatin’!

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        1. To be more exact, Zelda AND Link are almost always either preteens or teenagers in every LoZ game with Zelda sometimes a year or two older than Link. We’ve yet to see them over 21.

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  7. Agahnim should be a playable character in Hyrule Warriors. I would love shooting his energy balls at people as long as they don’t have a master sword to knock it back it me ;)

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  8. I have a hard time believing that this is true. Nintendo may have just needed some new stories for the book so that they added this. I’m sure that this concept was rejected from the game during the first drafts.

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    1. It isn’t true. It’s just some idiots from Nintendo of America back in the day either mistranslated, since they were known for that shit at times back in the late 80s/early 90s, or they were making up their own bullshit canon.

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  9. this news is nothing but crap! and all the dungeons in ocarina of time are easy just check the map no nee to be such n00bs!

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    Like

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